#68 – Bringing home a new baby

November 21, 2014 at 2:19 pm | Posted in Adoption differences, adoption issues, Adoptive parenting do's | Leave a comment
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I spoke with a grandmother the other day who had a new five day old adopted grandson and she was delirious with joy.  Her daughter and son-in-law brought their Family and Cat ourside their homenew baby home when he was one day old.  This reminded me that a new born in particular, but actually all babies who are adopted, need to be held more than biological babies in the beginning.


When a biological baby comes home, he is held by the same person who “housed” him for nine months.  He heard and felt his mother’s heart beat all that time and still feels it when he is held by her.  An adopted baby does not have that continuity providing security for him.  He will never again feel the ongoing familiar, comforting sensation of his mother’s heart beat.


Even though adoptive family heart beats are different from the birth mother’s, they are consistent day after day.  Holding a baby close to your heart can reassure him that this sensation still exists, even though it is different from what he had while in his birth mother’s womb.  In time, with frequent contact, the adoptive parents’ (and other family members) heart beats will become familiar and reassuring to the baby.  This appears to be a small gesture, but it can have a large impact on a new life.



A Personal Note

It’s been a few months since I’ve added any new blog items, but I should be more regular soon.  I spent the summer finishing up my 4th book.  This one relates 29 stories about adoption experiences.  The stories are divided about a third each –adoptees, birth parents and adoptive parents, so all sides of the adoption triad are heard from.


Their stories relate how adoption has affected their lives, and they express their personal views on adoption. These are based on interviews completed a couple years ago when I joined with two social workers who’ve worked in the adoption field over 30 years each.  We all found the stories about the lives of people we interviewed to be remarkable.  The people themselves were remarkable. Much of what we heard reinforces your faith in people and the human spirit.


I’ll spend some months this winter working with the publisher editing and revising and “Embracing the Adoption Effect” should be released late spring or early summer of 2015.



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