#63 Philomena revisited

December 8, 2013 at 8:15 am | Posted in Adoption differences, adoption issues, adoption loss | Leave a comment
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I just read a movie review of Philomena which gave the movie a rating of 5 out of 10, with the reviewer ending by saying she wishes she’d never bought a ticket to see it.  At first I was surprised, but then I smiled, realizing she is just one more person in this world who ‘doesn’t get it’.


The reviewer is correct in saying it should not have been advertised as a comedy.  She was expecting an exuberantly joyous ending to Philomena’s search.  Again, I don’t want to give away the plot, but this is a true story and sometimes we don’t get joyous endings in true stories. Sometimes we’re more than satisfied with a deeply peaceful ending.


I talked with a friend last night who shared some news about her adopted son.  He’d given them years of heartache and is now lovingly back in the family fold.  This adoptive mother had a deeper feeling than exuberant joy as her son shared his happy news about his new life and his new dream job.  She said she thought of her neighbor whose son did everything perfectly as a boy and is now a successful lawyer.  She said she wished her neighbor could experience what she felt last night – a deep, very deep gratitude and a peaceful contentment that her son had turned his life around.  The shared pain she went through with her son will always be a part of their relationship. It heightens the blessings in life they now can share.


Another friend of mine, an adoptee, always introduces me to her friends as “She’s an adoptive mother, but she’s okay because ‘she gets it’.”  I thought that was strange when I first heard it, but I knew what she meant.  I’m sure there are other arenas in life where ‘getting it’ is important, but our experiences are in the adoption world, and those of us who share that have come face to face with a very deep level of humanity – we do all ‘get it’.


The movie reviewer couldn’t empathize with Philomena.  This is a true story showing the pain of loss a birth mother can suffer, as well as the too good to be hoped for –  the scary anticipation of reunion.  The reviewer couldn’t relate to the extent of Philomena’s experience, from the very depths to a height thought unachievable.    If she could have, she would have had a beautiful taste of the human experience.





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