#40 – The community of adoption

January 15, 2012 at 3:54 pm | Posted in Adoption differences, adoption issues, Raising the adopted child | Leave a comment
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Well, here we are in another year.  It seems we start each year knowing in our souls it will be better than the last.  As we grow (age) and learn from experience, there is no reason why our years shouldn’t get better and better.

Yesterday I received the year’s end report from my blog and was reminded again that we are in a worldwide community of adoption.  Many of the visits to this blog are from the U.S., but I was surprised to see that a third of them were from Europe and another third from Asia, South and Latin America, Australia, and Africa.  Each region, of course, has its own culture and adoption practices, but I was taken with the fact that every country in the world has children who are adopted and parents who are adoptive parents.

Inside our own homes I think we have the feeling we are pretty much alone with adoption issues.  Our neighbors don’t share them, and our relatives don’t understand what we deal with – assuming they don’t have adopted children.  Working out our own issues we tend to forget there are millions of adopted children throughout the world.  Not every adopted child or adoptive family is the same, or maybe not even similar, but the issues we deal with are often the same and similar.

The overwhelming, simplified issue is that a child has somehow been removed from his biological family and is being loved and raised by a non-related family.  Even an outsider to adoption can see this statement conjures up some ideas of differences – both from the standpoint of the child as well as the standpoint of the parents.

What adoptive parents deal with is normal, no matter what it is they deal with.  By reading about adoption and finding families who share the adoptive experience, we learn that it is all normal.  The deepest compliment I get from my first book, Insight Into Adoption, is from adoptees, now adults, who say, “After reading your book, for the first time in my life I realize that I am normal.”

We may be different from biological families, but our feelings and experiences are normal.  The more we expose ourselves to the universal adoptive family, the more relaxed we will feel about our lives.  We do have some complicated issues to deal with, but opening up to all that is written about adoption and finding families with adopted children, our lives become easier.  I urge everyone to expand their knowledge. Become familiar with the experiences of families we’ve learned from.  Not every issue will be a part of your individual family, but familiarity with the field will help you and your children.  Years ago all research and knowledge was kept hush-hush.  Now it is available at your library, book store, or adoption support group.  If you knew how many of us yearned for this kind of help years ago when it wasn’t available, you’d all rush to these sources.  You’ll find it comforting and inspirational.

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