Issue #28 – Parents are Mirrors

September 6, 2011 at 10:29 am | Posted in Adoptive parenting do's, Identity issues, Raising the adopted child | Leave a comment
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Issue #28 –

This post will be short and to the point – it is one to really consider.  It’s realistic and direct. Think back to your own experiences, and you may be surprised that you may not have been consciously aware of this.

This is a simple concept and so logical, but one we disregard as parents more often than not.  What do our children see in our faces as we talk with them and interact with them?

What do we mirror back to them?  Do they see approval and appreciation or judgment and criticism?

I recently heard a woman say she realized that every time she was with her children, she criticized them by saying, “Tuck in your shirt, stand up straight, go comb your hair, etc.”  She soon realized her children were avoiding her.  Understandable.

She realized that when she was with her children, she gave them a negative image of themselves. She asked herself, “What is the message my child receives when he is with me? Does he feel better about himself or worse?”  She didn’t like the answer and was appalled at the message she was giving her children.  She knew she had to change her tactic and began to purposely smile when her children entered her presence, in addition to saying something pleasant, positive and approving.

The atmosphere in her household changed – for the better!


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