#18 – 5 Adoption Myths

June 1, 2011 at 2:49 pm | Posted in Adoption differences | Leave a comment
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I recently wrote this up for another application and thought it would be good to add here to the blog.  For those of us in the field, or in the trenches so to speak, we recognize these myths, but I think it’s always a good reinforcement for us to remind ourselves that our job as adoptive parents is different from others who have only biological children.



MYTH #1 –  Adoptive families are just like biological families.  They have the same issues, challenges, and joys.

FALSE – adoptive families have the same issues as biological families, plus many more that biological families never have to face.

MYTH #2 – Adopted children rarely think about being adopted.

FALSE – studies show adopted children think about the fact they are adopted, often on a daily basis.

MYTH #3 – Adopted children are just like biological children.

FALSE – adopted children are in a much more complicated place in life.

MYTH #4 – You parent adopted kids just like you parent biological kids.

FALSE – There are many more factors to be aware of in an adoptive family.  Awareness of these factors is an important element in parenting.

MYTH #5 – Adopted children feel just as secure in a family as biological children.

FALSE – Many adopted children as they grow up realize they are not in their family because of an act of nature, but instead by decisions made by human beings. Society reminds them they don’t inherently belong in their families because of this difference.


Because we as adoptive parents end up being more vigilant for unspoken messages from our children, adoptive parenting can be more challenging than biological parenting.  Any situation that requires effort, perhaps more effort than we originally realized, can also offer more rewards.

Our ‘tuning in’ to our children and reading their needs, often unspoken, can result in an extraordinary sense of accomplishment.  Ours is not an easy task, but the ensuing results can be many times more rewarding and satisfying just because our job is different. Not everyone understands the challenges. In fact, many unfamiliar with adoption say all families have problems and issues.   This is true, but the uniqueness of the adopted child is often misunderstood, and even discounted by those who do not experience it. Most adoptive parents would agree that other adoptive parents can be our strongest support system.  Things can be discussed with them that cannot be discussed with others.  It’s wonderful to talk with someone who understands.


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