#16 – Baby finch mentality

May 12, 2011 at 2:47 pm | Posted in Raising the adopted child | Leave a comment
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I saw something today I’d never seen before. We have two bird feeders
outside our window filled with niger seed that primarily attract finches – both
yellow and red. Beautiful birds. I love to watch them on the feeder.

Today – being spring – there was a fat baby yellow finch there which still had its tufts of baby feathers. There must have been eight finches on the two feeders and this baby was sitting on one of the perches with the food right in front of it, chirping and squawking vigorously waiting for someone to feed him. All the other birds were feeding themselves, but he kept turning around and around waiting for someone to feed him, chirping vigorously the whole time. I wanted to tell him to put his beak into the hole because the bird seed was just an inch away from him. The answer to his dilemma was right in front of him, but he didn’t make the effort to see it.

This reminded me so much of our lives. None of us is immune to this. There is information all around us which can give us answers, but we often ignore it and just keep going on and on like we’ve always done.

So much more information is available to current young adoptive parents that was not available to those of us who adopted years ago. In all honesty, I’m not so sure we would have been all that receptive to adoption information, feeling we didn’t need it. We very well might have been like the baby finch that just sat on the perch and ignored the fact the food (or information) was available. We knew we would beat all the odds and have perfect children because we “knew” how to parent. Only after the fact, did we realize we didn’t know what our children were going through. We short changed them by not enlarging our world of knowledge.

Today, there are still parents who refuse to realize that parenting adopted children is more challenging than parenting biological children. We need to open our minds to all possibilities and answers even though not all the information out there will be pertinent to our personal lives.

We don’t want to be like the baby finch who was never satisfied. He never did realize the answer to his problem was right in front of him – if only he’d looked for it.


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